Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
