very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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