is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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