margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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