my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
