I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
