This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
