I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Are my feet made of real feet?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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