Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize