Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
