well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
