sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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