Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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