even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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