I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
