Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
