Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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