I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
