So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
