You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Someone signed my nipple.
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