In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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