I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
it's like iHOP with fire
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
