I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize