we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
