What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize