$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I faked an abortion last night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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