He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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