i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
