If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You made out with two different species that night
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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