Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
