I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize