you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize