i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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