Dude my mom stole all your condoms
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
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