There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
