my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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