Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
