I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
