"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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