I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Reggie can tackle my bush.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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