her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Randomize
