WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
