What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize