can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize