ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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