This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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