This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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