Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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