Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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