Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize