Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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