I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize