What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
