the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I love you. Go after that dick
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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