...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
