I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
