that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Welp...herpes.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
